The Biggest Mistake People Will Make With the Pain-Pleasure Principle

But wait, what about those people who give to the point of burnout? If all I do is give and give, won’t I get worn out, tired, and stressed? As I teach in my seminar “The Secrets of Exceptional Student Leaders,” you have to make sure you are not drawing water from an empty well. To give fully, you must first have something to give. You probably have heard of the saying “It is better to give than to receive.” That saying has been altered over time from the original statement. If you trace that adage back to its origins, you’ll find the proverb actually says “It’s better to be in a position to give, than a position to receive.” Changes your whole concept of the phrase, doesn’t it?

Too much giving doesn’t make you feel bad; it’s the taking from yourself when you have nothing to give that makes you feel bad. Trying to spend five days straight with no sleep and no food so you can volunteer your time to help the homeless is noble, but foolish. You and I are humans, and we have needs that have to be met. As you start your journey to success, giving will bring you the greatest joy in the world. But the knowledge that to give, you must first have something to give is the true key to unlocking this pillar’s potential.

And while you should always give to others, be sure to give to yourself as well. Many times it’s much easier to give to others before we give to ourselves, but there is nothing selfish about making sure you are well taken care of. You are the only person responsible for yourself, as we talked about in the First Pillar. Therefore, if you haven’t joined a group or created something personally fulfilling yet, now is the time to start.

Believe me, you can contribute more to the world than you have already. It’s amazing how much we can stretch ourselves if we need to. Just remember that if you stretch a rubber band too far, it will eventually snap.

Arel Moodie is widely known as America's Top Young Speaker. He has spoken to over 65,000 students in 39 states and 2 countries on the topics of student success, student leadership and student entrepreneurship. He is a leading authority on helping students of this generation succeed in school and in life. He is also the best selling author of the book Your Starting Point For Student Success. To find out more about Arel's book, go to www.startingpointbook.com. To find out more about Arel's speaking please go to www.arelmoodie.com.