Comparison is Stupid

Comparing yourself to others is a surefire way to sink your confidence through the floor. Studies have shown one of the worst things parents can do to their children is compare them to their siblings. Some of the worst things a parent can say to his child are statements like “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” or “Why can’t you clean your room like your sister does?”

According to the Public Broadcasting System, this sets up sibling rivalry and deflates a child’s self-image. It creates a win/lose relationship and causes resentment.

In your life right now, this rule still applies. Comparing yourself to others will magnify what you are not good at and cause you to resent both yourself and the person you are comparing yourself to.

Bottom line, don’t do it. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but you have to work toward it.

It is fine to use other people’s talents and accomplishments to motivate you to achieve more, but it is completely unproductive to use what others can do to beat yourself up. As long as you compare yourself to others, you will always find someone better in some area than you are. It’s impossible to be the best at everything. So instead of comparing to see what you don’t have, recognize the unique qualities you do have to serve the world with and work on perfecting those.

In other words, instead of focusing on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. Change your paradigm completely and look at your weaknesses as opportunities for improvement (as much as you looked at “failures” as opportunities for learning.)

This applies to anyone, even celebrities. They probably have it the worst out of all us because the Internet, magazines, and TV scrutinize them based on fleeting characteristics. It’s unfortunate, but it’s part of the lives they chose. It is a hard life. We hear so many stories of pop stars and actors who cracked under the pressure and suffer from drug use or depression and who sometimes even commit suicide.

I can’t even begin to think of all of the headlines Britney Spears has made about the stupidest, smallest things. Britney gains a pound, and the tabloids label her a fat cow. Come on, give me a break. It’s ridiculous.

Arel Moodie is widely known as America's Top Young Speaker. He has spoken to over 65,000 students in 39 states and 2 countries on the topics of student success, student leadership and student entrepreneurship. He is a leading authority on helping students of this generation succeed in school and in life. He is also the best selling author of the book Your Starting Point For Student Success. To find out more about Arel's book, go to www.startingpointbook.com. To find out more about Arel's speaking please go to www.arelmoodie.com.